Sunday, July 20, 2014

TAPIF: Pourquoi?

I don't remember exactly what I put in my TAPIF application essay explaining why I wanted to do the program (which I most definitely did NOT have a native speaker help me edit. Because we were told not to. And I always follow the rules). But I do remember that the essay wasn't completely honest. A chunk of it was about having a chance to improve my French (which is true), and a part of it was about me exploring teaching as a possible career (that might have been a stretch), and part of it was about potentially taking grad courses in a French university (okay...that was a full-out lie to try to get them to place me near a big city, sorry France, but it worked).

But truthfully there were two main reasons I applied, neither of which I included in the essay: I need time to figure out what I want to do with my life, and I'm not done traveling yet.

If there is one thing every graduating student (especially one with a humanities major who is unsure of where she wants to be in five years) hates, it's "the question." We get it from our friends, our family, from fellow graduates (from them at least it's usually followed by "sorry, I know you probably hate that question."):

So, what are you planning to do after you graduate?  

It would have hurt my soul to have to look at the ground and mumble "I don't know" each and every time. It's not for lack of trying, I stressed over my big plans for the future for a long time, and after many evenings of anxiety and self-pity, I decided I simply wasn't ready. And I'm not. I need to experience more and to distance myself a bit from the post-college burnout.

And to be honest, I can't see myself going straight into the 40-hour-work-week thing. Or the graduate school thing. I'm young with relatively few things tying me down, no career or family of my own. This odd post-college yet pre-"real" job stage in life seems like the only real window of opportunity to do something like this.

I also want another chance to travel. I have a list a mile long of places I didn't get a chance to visit while in Montpellier that I need to see, and somehow it keeps getting longer. There's something awesome about traveling, it brings out the best (and sometimes the worst) in you. Suddenly the awkward introvert wants to speak to strangers, and the over-planner becomes spontaneous.

And so, TAPIF it is. Back to France for another adventure.

So bring on the minimum wage and the French bureaucracy, the baguettes and the excitement.I'm going back for round two.




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